Describe the obstacles that are preventing you from recognizing Love’s presence within you.

The obstacles that are impeding me from recognizing Love's presence are my own feelings of being unlovable. 

In my past I have experienced times of abuse, especially in the church. This has caused me to feel unlovable. 

I have to constantly remind myself that I am lovable and am loved. Through the use of affirmations and prayer I will open myself to Love's presence. 

Write an essay explaining how the concept that nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists might change what you ask for in prayer?

The concept of nothing real can be threatened or unreal exists is difficult for me to wrap my mind around. Especially in light of my feelings of being unlovable. In this essay I will explain how my past is affecting my present, how I am using my spiritual practices to open myself to Love's presence, and how since nothing is unreal, I can ask for anything in prayer and truly expect to receive it.

In my past I have experienced what can only be described as abuse from the people who I thought loved me as a friend and a family. When my deployments to Iraq ended, I discovered that my wife at that time had been allowing others to enter her life and she said she didn't love me anymore. 

After we decided to end the marriage, the pastor of the church I was working for pulled me aside after a chapel service and told me someone told him (he did not tell me who, they would never tell me who was my accusers were) that I needed to be careful because my Facebook page was hurting my testimony. I asked how but he would not tell me all he would say is to watch my testimony. This would be the pattern of their behavior. They would tell me that I was hurting by testimony and then had nothing to back it up. Instead of attempting to help me spiritually, the pastor attacked me every chance he got. I do not think he had a vendetta; he wanted to force me to quit so he would not have a divorced person on his staff. 

He also stated that my first wife had said that I had cheated on her in Iraq and that was the reason for the divorce. I called her right there while he was standing there to confront her, and she denied saying it. Looking back, I would say he was lying to get me to "confess." 

I decided that if they were not going to be helpful in my time of need, I would leave the church and hopefully find another, more loving church. During this time, the pastor and school principal left. The one is who took over responsibility for the church and school also did nothing to reach out to see if I needed any help. It was also during this time that I realized that they did not reach out to my first wife to help while I was gone. I felt let down in all areas. 

To add insult to injury, the ones who hurt me just moved on to other churches. They were getting to continue in the ministry, and I was left by the wayside. This added to my suffering and feelings of being unlovable. 

I have fought these feelings for many years and after finding someone who supports me no matter what happens. I find I have a difficult time with love. 

After completing the first lesson, I know there is a path to feel Love's presence. That love is a presence and not a feeling. My current spiritual practices of meditative prayer, reading spiritual books, and Solitude I am opening myself to Love's presence. 

If nothing is unreal then, I feel, these practices can allow me to be open to feeling Love's presence in my life daily. And love is the expression of the spiritual freedom. This freedom will allow me to ask for anything and know that God, and The Universe will grant my desires. It opens me to truly help those that are in need.

Love's presence within and without is what binds us all together. We are all one thing expressing itself in an infinite variety of ways. By feeling Love's presence, I am able to truly help those in need.

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Dr. of Spirituality ACIM: Lesson 9

When asking a friend of mine to give their understanding of "mind over matter" vs "matter over mind", I was met with silence on the subject.  No one wanted to sit and participate in a discussion such as this and I've respected their boundaries. 

It would seem to me that no one wanted to give me their thoughts on prayer that wasn't preconceived from their perspective per their religious beliefs. Almost like, if they said anything that wasn't aligned with what their respective churches already had, they felt that they were almost heretic. 

When explaining the course to the best of my ability, however, it was met with positive reaction and almost borderline favoritism. Not sure how I really felt about most of their answers or how much they were in agreement with how this course explains how 'giving reinforces what was given', but, I'm still searching for my own answers.

'

Dr. of Spirituality ACIM: Lesson 8

This is a thought-provoking lesson.

My understanding of ''...we must choose to serve Truth or illusions. There are no alternatives." is this:

If we choose to serve illusions, then we are all stuck in a mindset that perpetuates fear. Fear of the unknown or what we don't understand. In turn, that turns us into something that we try hard not to become. Tyrannical, at best. If we remember some history, it's that kind of 'wrong-mindedness' that was a sort of precursor to The Crusades. A bit on the extreme side, yes, but it serves to remind us of how blessed we are to have a choice. Illusions are the projections of vulnerable individuals that seek to control what they cannot handle within themselves. When we choose to serve Truth, our 'right-mindedness' can bring us to and closer to God. It leaves no room for hate or despair, or a weight on our hearts. We cannot have it both ways for our Minds to grasp 'Right-Mindedness'. The Truth shall set you free.

Our perceptions can have a lot of impact on how we see the world and feel within ourselves. How we perceive ourselves and the world would depend on letting go of our fears and misgivings. We project what we fear and in turn changes our perception on how we use prayer or our faith all together. If we can learn to let go of our fears, we can project a more balanced and steady flow of His Spirit. Our perceptions of how we see or feel The Divine would be vastly different. Connection and communications are key. We have to let go of the illusions we are used to in order to grasp and appreciate the full power of Prayer. The way it is intended for us.

Be Blessed.

Dr. of Spirituality ACIM: Lesson 7

The Ladder of Prayer has you really appreciate the power of prayer. 

We are so used to praying for things that we need or for something to 'go our way' that we forget the foundations of prayer and what it is truly meant for. Not to say that we can't pray how we are used to praying, but be more open to the whole, instead of using a quarter of it.

We must get beyond having enemies and pray for all individuals who need to be shown a different way. We, as ministers, have to let go of what we deem as a nemesis to get full freedom for God to guide us. We are vessels for His Spirit and Love. We have to be humble enough to let go of the boulders that hold us to our fears. We need to do this to better serve those that seek us for guidance.

Be blessed.

Dr. of Spirituality ACIM: Lesson 6

"We don't recognize that love is the answer, because we don't realize that lack of love is the problem."

Those words haven't been more true for today's society. Prayer, in its truest form, is communication with God. Not only for asking things, but being grateful for what we already have or have earned without expectations. Not saying that it is easy in any capacity, and it's not as cut and dry, nor the same for everyone else.

For a long time, I've had trouble with Prayer. I felt that it was one-sided and fell on deaf ears. But, I've always kept the lines open. I've come to learn that the problem was within me and learned to listen better. It is a lesson in progress. I had problems with feeling worthy of God. I never looked at it as 'calling on a Friend'. I'm learning everyday that God gives us what we need. It is up to us on how to receive the things we need. Reigniting the fires within ourselves and prayer can take us a long way.